Trust the Process (A Counseling Interns Learning Journey)

 

A Counseling Interns Learning Journey (Part II):

Trust the Process

Rubjoyt Singh is a Gonzaga Counseling Intern who has been with my practice since January of this year.  We have settled into her placement and there is a rhythm in the work that we do, both in unison and independently.  The journey that we are on is one that I cherish with the learning for both of us.  It is especially an honor as I witness as Rubjoyt becomes more comfortable and certain in her role as a counselor.

I am thrilled that she has learned to trust in the process and to move with the pace of each of her clients. And that she understands that an authentic professional relationship is at the core of the “holding” that happens within the counseling room.  If this was all that was inspired for her, this would be enough.  Yet, it has been much bigger than this.  Stay tuned for later blogs when she shares more about this. For now, here is what Rubjoyt has to say about her learning at this juncture:

In my new experience as a counseling intern, I am learning more about myself, how to follow the pace and readiness of my clients and that change and healing is a process, not a quick destination.  My clients process is outside of my control.  It is not my role to “fix” things, to have the perfect solution to problems or to try to speed up the process so my clients can feel better.

As I started to see clients, I presumed that we would process their concerns and that change would follow almost immediately.  This was not the case. Change is often not a linear process. My client’s do not come back every session and tell me that they are alright and at a similar place to where we ended the previous session.  I am learning that it is okay when a client comes in feeling upset or even worse than the last session.  It does not negate our previous work, nor lack legitimacy to where they are at.  In fact, clients have brought up sessions from weeks before and have shared how it has impacted them.

I have begun to understand that people have complex lives.  It is my responsibility to help them process their feelings around their experiences. The counseling process will take as long as it needs to take and it will look different for everyone. Some of the best advice I have received in supervision is, “We need to feel to heal”. When I try to “fix” things, I take away the opportunity for my clients to heal. Ultimately, I am learning to trust the process.

This idea really sank in as I have had clients return, expressing gratefulness for my support as they go through their own healing with the hard parts, the growth and the learning.  I have learned to trust that their process is gradual and that sessions are meaningful for them in the “being with”as much as in the strategies that I bring.  And that healing is not instant, it is not linear. It happens at their pace and readiness. I have learnt that I need to follow my clients needs and not feel pressure to lead them where I think they need to go.

 

Suzanne Apelskog, MS, LMHC & Rubjoyt Singh, Gonzaga Master Level Intern