Cookies, Counselors and Conversation
As I was writing this blog, I reflected on gratefulness and how life can come full circle in so many ways. I have had the honor to get to teach, mentor or supervise various counselors over the years and then step back and watch with joy as they bloom as people and in their roles as counselors and leaders. To be witness as they ripple out their gifts in the world. This is what I have been witness to with Sonia. I met her years ago when I taught a course in graduate school. I have been an observer as she has navigated her career as a counselor and now as a leader with Cor Counseling and in our community.
My experience with her has been one of such grace. I reached out to her to ask if she would be part of the Counselor Cookie Challenge pay-it-forward experience, where counselors bake for each other and catch each other being amazing. I was thrilled when she said, yes. It was with excitement that I got to celebrate how amazing she is, bake for her and visit her at her practice for this conversation. I value the dialogue between us around her journey with learning in areas of judgment, self-compassion and holding to her vision as a counselor.
Greatest Learning
When I asked Sonia about her greatest learning personally, she expressed a challenge over her lifetime of having high expectations for herself. She identified a need to accept when things don’t go her way. “I am learning to deal with my stuff to let go.” She also described, “Being a mom has probably been my best opportunity for growth because it has challenged me to allow these beautiful human beings to be truly who they are, to not set expectations for who they are and not who I think they could be.” She expressed how her children are young adults now and how much she appreciates them and the opportunity to be their mother.
“My greatest learning professionally. Probably the same thing. Let go and don’t be so rigid. My greatest learning is that I have to trust the direction that God has given me, even when there are other’s that either oppose it or don’t agree with it. To stay grounded in knowing what I need to be doing. Not leading from what expectations are and that other people want to me be doing.” Within this same framework, Sonia shared about struggles she has had with comparison within the field. She has felt pressure to be doing more and more. She remedies this by sticking to her own vision and saying to herself, “What is the thing I need to do for today for this amazing opportunity God has given me? To stay on track.” She evaluates this further by questioning, “Should I have interns? Or should I do this?” She brings herself back to stay within the model of the counseling practice she has, with her team, her personal capacity and the structure of this. She stays grounded in what she wants and needs to do. At the foundation of this vision, she described, “It is my service to my community. My community in Spokane and my community with therapists.”
As we explored this further, Sonia described, “One of my greatest learning, also, is that I don’t have to do it alone. We have a team of people to make sure anyone that comes on is a good fit. That makes the process a lot longer. When I do it myself, I missed stuff. They are business owners that want to become a team of Cor therapists.” She spoke about how she develops the team community she serves. “Finding people that are of good ethics. What is it like to sit with you in the room? That team interview process has been a game changer.” Of her team, she said, “What it has created is this sense of people that feel confident about doing private practice. My strength is teaching therapists how to be business owners.” Sonia expressed with pride what it is like to watch counselors grow and build their practices with authenticity to their lives.
I wanted to understand what Sonia’s advice would be with others, based on her learning around being more compassionate towards herself and staving off the sense to compete, compare or do more. She summed it up nicely with this: “It’s important to remember that you are showing up doing the best you can. The reality that there is no right way or all wrong way to do this. Show up and do your best. Do a short evaluation about how you could do better and let it go. I am not going to sacrifice doing something because it is not perfect. I am going to do it imperfect and that is okay. Rigidity will keep you from doing great things.”
My Take-Away
As I mentioned in the beginning with full circle moments, I realized that Sonia also has had full circle moments as she ripples out her gifts to inspire counselors by mentoring them and creating community. I was struck by how she has taken an honest inventory for herself about how judgment and rigidity do not serve her individually or in her expectations outwardly as well. It seems that this has taught her to learn to let go and go with the flow of things happening versus an expected outcome. At the core of letting go is accepting her spiritual guide and having faith in following what feels natural for her, clearing the mechanism of comparison that could guide her outside of her vision for herself and her life.
Comparison is something that can happen with professionals in any field and does happen within the counseling profession, especially with newer counselors. Those of us that are older are not immune to this either. The sense of comparison that happens, often feeds a spiral of feeling like we are not meeting the mark or feeds a sense of imposter syndrome in the work we do. The truth is that we all are worthy and deserve to do this work. I value how Sonia is guided by her faith, wisdom and grounding herself in who she is and what she knows to be true to her vision personally and professionally. She truly does inspire her vision of serving with us in the counseling community.
The Cookies (Recipe below)
When I reached out to Sonia to ask her what kinds of desserts she likes, she said, “As far as homemade desserts, I love anything with chocolate and whenever I bring chocolate treats to share, I have found the majority of Cor therapists love it too.”
With this in mind, I was interested in this recipe, Coffee, Chocolate Chunk Cookies when I saw coffee as an ingredient (see the link below by Pioneer Woman).
To get baking, I gathered the ingredients, read the recipe and then read some of the reviews. A couple of the reviews, said that the glaze drizzled over the top did not work for the bakers. I decided to make this anyway and found the same thing. The glaze was messy and chunky and just didn’t work. The cookies were delivered without glaze, to present them in a less messy and aesthetically pleasing cookie tray.
Sonia said of the cookies, “They were very moist and just the right kind of chewy…not too doughy and not too crunchy. I think you mentioned there was a secret ingredient that made them taste a bit different than a traditional chocolate chip cookie. If I remember right it was instant coffee?? Not sure why that is popping into my mind. The cookies also were a bit “heartier” than other types of cookies so although I was tempted to eat more than one at a sitting, I was satisfied after having just one.”
I personally enjoyed this cookie and the coffee gave it just the right twist to set them apart from an every day chocolate chip cookie. They were soft, chewy and yummy to eat with your favorite hot beverage or dipped in milk. I have included the recipe link for those that are interested in baking it themselves. If you bake it, please leave your review below.
https://www.thepioneerwoman.com/food-cooking/recipes/a34238084/coffee-chocolate-chunk-cookies/
Counselor Cookie Challenge
The Counselor Cookie Challenge can be found on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086543658598
Follow the page to watch as counselors are “Caught Being Amazing” and recognized by our colleagues for who they are and their contributions. Cookies are delivered on artsy plates like this one:
Sonia Comb’s and Cor Counseling Information
Sonia Combs, MS, LMHC is a counselor in Spokane Washington. She leads Cor Counseling’s community of counselors.
Cor is a collective of mental health providers combining compassionate care with evidence-based treatments. Their goal is to provide a comfortable space to process client’s struggles and assist in creating strategies to move toward health and healing. Cor has 3 locations in the Spokane area and serves clients both in office and via telehealth.
Phone: (509) 242-7200
Website: https://corspokane.com/
